Here’s what it’s like to be in a relationship with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder
One of the main criteria for diagnosing Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is difficulty maintaining relationships. If you’re not familiar with BPD, it can be explained, briefly, as a disorder that causes a person to experience intense and unstable emotions, which doesn’t sound like a particularly appealing dating prospect.
Googling the subject, I suddenly find the internet is awash with people who have an incredibly negative and distorted view of what it’s like to date a person with BPD. Some of the comments hit home because, from an early age, I have had an extremely tempestuous love life, but I also know it can work if both partners learn to understand each other. As such, I’ll try and share my two cents on dating someone with BPD. One of the main symptoms of BPD, which I think is almost universal, is a ‘chronic feeling of emptiness’.
This is a hard concept to explain to a healthy person, who may have only ever felt something close to this when someone they love passes away, or they lose something they hold dear in their life.
People with BPD, even in their happiest periods, experience this pervasive feeling of emptiness almost every day, and often they try and fill this with things that stimulate them.
It’s well documented that we love to turn to a quick fix; drugs, alcohol, binge eating, any risk-takingsq behavior that fills us up for a second.
Personally, the only thing that gives me true happiness is other people, which is why BPD is a cruel illness – because most people who suffer from it are gregarious, true people lovers, but they struggle to maintain close relationships because of their illness.