5 Things Narcissists Do To Convince Victims To Come Back
4. Rescue Me!
Yet another hook that will stab into your marrow and draw you back in is when the object of your previous affections is suddenly in danger. Maybe their new relationship has (supposedly) turned abusive, and they need your protection or strength to extricate them from it. Maybe they’ve taken a drug overdose, or gotten arrested, or found themselves in some other horrible situation and omg you are the only person in the world they can trust and count on when they’re in such a bad place so please please help…please.
Effective, isn’t it? You’re basically f*cked either way: if you come to their aid, you’re sucked back into their blackened vortex of horribleness and the entire cycle will begin anew. If you don’t help them, you’ll feel like the world’s most cold-hearted person for abandoning them when they had a moment of vulnerability and reached out to you (to you! They MUST really love you!). Furthermore, if you don’t help them when and if they cast their fishing line out to reel you back in, you might find yourself faced with…
5. Smear Campaigns
Some people choose to go back to a narcissistic partner in order to prove to themselves (and others) that they’re not a horrible, abusive charlatan… which is how the narcissist has chosen to paint them after a breakup.
If your narcissistic ex has been in contact with your social circle and told them horror stories about how you were cruel to them and then abandoned them, you’re going to look like the worst person on the planet. You might find yourself frozen out of people’s lives, or cut down by complete strangers for actions that you either didn’t do, or that you did in order to save yourself.
In this situation, you might actually be the one who tries to re-form a connection with the narcissist, in order to amend the perception that you’re an awful human being. You might find yourself apologizing to them for making them feel bad when you called them out on their abuse. You may grovel and ask for a second chance after you dared to walk away from their gaslighting and neglect.