Coping Mechanisms When Leaving A Narcissistic Partner Behind
Try To Build A Strong Support System
Escaping the clutches of a narcissist is never easy and there will be times when you feel like giving in and returning to him. This is why it is essential that you find people who can give you the strength you need to overcome the hard times.
Unfortunately, as part of his mind games, the narcissist may well have already contacted mutual friends and family to convince them of your wrongdoing and even if he has not, many people will struggle to identify with the person you describe – remember, he may well have put on the charm around others.
But wherever you find them – and it might be that you have to seek out people who have been in your situation and understand what you are going through – be sure to keep them at hand for the inevitable moments of self doubt and surrender.
Let them know the boundaries you have set and tell them to call you out should you ever let these boundaries drift or fall down. You may find that you have altercations with your supporters, but let it be known to them in advance that you appreciate all that they are doing for you.
Recognize Your Own Limiting Beliefs
Having a narcissist for a partner can well and truly mess with your head and the result is likely to be a number of limiting beliefs that you have about yourself, them, and your relationship.
For instance, you might believe that:
- they truly love you
- your love for them can prevail given time
- you are to blame for the ending of the relationship
- they bring you happiness that you will not find elsewhere
- things can go back to how they were in the beginning
- they have seen the errors in their ways once and for all
- you can fix them and that it is your duty to stay and help
- they feel the same way that you do
Not one of these things is true. They are incapable of love, meaning your love can never prevail. You are not to blame and you can find greater happiness elsewhere. Things can never go back to how they were and stay that way because they have not seen any error in their ways. You cannot fix them and nor is it your responsibility, and they most certainly don’t feel the same way as you.