Behind the Narcissist Mask: The Bully, Coward, Liar and Fraud
It’s not nice to call names. But when it comes to narcissists, calling them out is really a matter of survival for those dealing with their abuse, as well as for those who don’t understand the profound harm they do. All narcissists wear a mask, or false persona. And when you strip away the narcissist mask you find weakness and vulnerability that would be pitiable if it weren’t so astonishingly vicious.
The Narcissist Mask
But chances are you won’t ever remove the narcissist mask, because he defends it at all costs with a full arsenal of preemptive controlling and abusive tactics. Whether as a young person overvalued with excessive praise and indulgence or undervalued with neglect and/or abuse (or an impossible combination of those parenting styles), the narcissist is in essence an emotionally stunted child with an adult savvy for ruthless manipulating. The narcissist mask is what he wears to assert a face of superiority and entitlement, protecting himself from intolerable feelings of invalidation, otherwise known as “narcissistic injury.”
The Narcissist Bully
Narcissists are classic bullies. They ambush, attack without cause, and prey on the most vulnerable within their grasp, usually those who love and depend on them, namely their spouse and children, who as a result carry lasting emotional and physiological trauma.
Narcissists often also abuse employees, susceptible friends, and “underlings” such as waiters and clerks. Exploiting their power over others in any way possible feeds their endless need to feel superior, and their lack of empathy gives them free range to abuse without the troubling hindrance of a conscience.