How To Restore Your Trust Again After Narcissistic Abuse
The Necessary Development of Ourselves In All of This
If we were wounded by narcissists and have always unconsciously carried the fears of “trying to play it safe”, “dimming down to keep others happy”, “not having a voice” and if we have been “fearful of upsetting others because of the risk of criticism, rejection, abandonment or punishment”, then we have a lot of work to do on these wounded young child parts of ourselves that have not as yet grown up and which have kept handing power and our truth away.
Because if we don’t, we are going to keep co-generating untrustworthy situations, and we are likely to powerlessly blame others for our pain and we will contract, shut down and keep it locked inside ourselves …
IF we don’t wake up from the trance and do the inner work.
And we are going to be agonized with the feelings of “how can I ever trust again?”
When We Don’t Trust and When We Do
Not trusting life and others … means we are not anchored into our own development and healing.
It means we keep experiencing all the things we don’t trust.
It means we are stunted in our ability to heal.
It means we still have the trapped feelings inside us – the traumas that we have not healed yet and ironically those which we WILL assign someone else to cater to – not a person who is the savior of our wounds, but a person who brings more evidence of them.
When we do “trust” we know it is never about what other people are or aren’t doing, it is about generating and creating our own life from the inside out.
It is about cleaning up the original wounds that made us not trust ourselves, not show up truthfully, not have boundaries, not let go and cling to another adult to grant us the love, approval, security, and survival that we have as yet healed and provided within ourselves.
As children, we were powerless to do this, as adults we are not.
And for goodness sake, we need to stop having the conversations that focus on ALL the reasons WHY we can’t trust people … such as: “All men do that” and “All women are that” and thinking SOMEHOW all that focus on distrust and pain is somehow going to STOP IT happening in our life!
That is the victim mentality that only creates MORE of the same.
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