The Covert Narcissist And How You Might Not Spot Them Straight Away
The type of narcissist that most of us think we’re familiar with is the stereotypical one usually portrayed in films and television. This is a person who’s loud and brash, puts others down for their own amusement, needs to be the center of attention at all times, and never mind what you’re talking about: let’s talk about them again!
In contrast, an introverted narcissist is a bit more difficult to spot. They also crave attention and admiration, but they’ll do so in ways that are more passive. They might martyr themselves for a cause so others will praise their apparent selflessness, or play the victim in a situation in order to garner sympathy.
They’ll use their shyness to rope people in who will do their best to nurture them, reassure them of how special and giving and kind they are, and then turn around and vilify their White Knight if they dare to pull back and stop lavishing them with praise.
This kind of covert narcissist can be equally as damaging to people as an overtone, but so much more difficult to spot. It’s fairly easy to recognize a standard narcissist based on their behavior, but a covert one might take months to reveal themselves… and by then, the damage has already been done.
Here are some things to watch out for when you think you might be dealing with a covert narcissist: