7.  Don’t Blame Yourself

Especially if you’ve been scapegoated in your family, you are likely to automatically blame yourself and feel guilt for things beyond your control or responsibility. Narcissists are experts at deflecting and projecting blame onto others. If they raged at you and you stood up for yourself, you attacked them. If they punched you, you drove them to it. One of the best ways to break your unhealthy family dynamics is to stop blaming yourself for what was never your responsibility or fault to begin with.

8.  Stop Hurting Yourself

Along with not blaming yourself, chances are you need to stop patterns of self-abuse. As someone raised in a narcissistic family, you are prone to risky, self-punishing, and self-soothing but destructive behaviors, such as substance abuse and addictions, self-harm, and thrill-seeking. Your self-destructive behavior is an internalization of the narcissistic abuse you grew up with, which is the opposite of the narcissist’s externalization of her pain. By engaging in such behavior you continue to give the narcissist power over you. You also exacerbate the emotional and physiological trauma you have already endured. Patterns of addiction and self-harm can be extremely hard to break, so seek help and support from people who understand the dynamics of narcissism.

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