5 Reasons Narcissists Can’t Have Intimate Relationships
4. THERE IS NO “US”
Peg Streep answers, in Psychology Today, the question “Can a narcissist become more empathetic?”
Unsurprisingly, Streep doesn’t issue an affirmative response: “The narcissist’s lack of empathy is key to understanding why, when you’re with one, there’s a real sense in which he or she isn’t ‘with’ you at all. Without empathy, a person remains more or less encased in plastic, unmoved by the feelings or plight of others – even supposedly close others – on both a cognitive and emotional level.” (Emphasis mine)
Empathy is a pre-requisite (as is vulnerability and trust) in a relationship. Most experiments that have studied the narcissism/relationship correlation have found narcissists to be incapable.
5. IT’S (PROBABLY) IMPOSSIBLE
In the play A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Shakespeare writes “The course of true love never did run smooth.”
In the grasps of a narcissist, the relationship will never have true love and will never run smooth. Any and all displays of affection are a means to an end – and the end is always determined by the narcissist.
One may believe they are on “the course” of true love regardless of the narcissist’s obvious and unabashed displays of manipulation, distrust, abuse, and overdominance.