The Narcissist after the Break-Up
Breaking Up With A Narcissist
Breaking up with a narcissist is an emotional roller coaster. If you have read other articles or received support from a therapist on how to break up with a narcissist, you will know that the only viable way to do this is with No Contact. However, this causes the narcissist to experience “withdrawal” from not having enough ‘narcissistic supply’. In his frantic desire to gain a “fix” of narcissistic supply, he will respond in one of two ways. He will either leave, with no remorse or shame for the abuse he has imposed, and seek out a new source of supply or he will immediately swing back into pursuit mode, with the singular goal of winning you back. A narcissist does not want to be alone and he constantly needs someone to validate him.
The Narcissist Feels Threatened
Sticking to your guns of No Contact will initially anger and threaten the narcissist, so expect some new craziness to emerge. The narcissist is relentless when it comes to securing his sources, and he will use all kinds of manipulative behavior to draw you back into the relationship. He may romance you, seduce you, and charm you just like he did in the beginning. If that doesn’t work he will resort to more drastic measures such as threatening suicide or saying “he cannot live without you”. The narcissist will return to see if he can still get his fix from you, or even create supply through your reactions. The narcissist isn’t ignorant about the pain he’s caused, he just doesn’t care. As long as you react-in any way-the narcissist will always come back (whenever there is a lapse in whatever supply he’s replaced you with).