Help towards managing to escape a narcissist
The reason to write this page is very simple. In some sense it helps me to come to terms with what happened to me (and I can assure you, just like other victims affected by NPD, it is extremely painful and threatening to the entire personality) but also because the Internet has helped me a great deal, more than any member of family or friend (additionally, you will get stupid comments, like “oh, how old are you that you didn’t see this coming”, “oh, you just had a baby”, “oh, you have to learn to make compromises” – just don’t listen). It is true, if you haven’t experienced NPD or if you are not a professional, there is no way anybody can understand how bad it is. In fact, a colleague of mine, a psychotherapist, explained to me that narcissists are even a threat to a professional because of transference and counter-transference. If you ever have been close to a narcissist, you will know that there are many times, where you feel that you are going insane.
If you live with a narcissist, you will have to leave. Bring yourself into safety somewhere and start reclaiming your life from there. If you have kids take them with you if you can. If not, leave anyway. You will be better helping them from safety. If you stay with the narcissist, you will drown and all what you have will go under too. Get out and take what you can with you (the narcissist will do everything to steal your belongings).
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In terms of using the Internet to gain an understanding and a list of symptoms, there is a very simple advice. Just look at many different articles and find out where they are consistent. Step by step you will get the picture. It might be a starting point to look up “Abuse”. This is, often narcissistic personality disorder feels like abuse, but it isn’t quite that. Still, symptoms are often very similar.