THIS IS WHAT IT’S LIKE TO RAISE A CHILD WITH AN ADDICT
“I just want my dad back in my life,” my son cried from the back seat. We were driving home from his dad’s new apartment — a life change he sensed was coming for years. We all did. But that doesn’t make it any less sad.
He doesn’t have these outbursts of grief often — not like I imagined he would — but there’s an inherent loss in his life. Not just the loss of a father (who, through varying degrees of drug addiction, was not a stable and consistent person to begin with), but the loss of an image and an expectation for how his life should be. If tears weren’t showing up from time to time, I’d be concerned.
I didn’t expect this life, either. Not when I was pregnant to a man I loved deeply — a man who slowly shrunk under the grip of his opiate addiction.