I had one of those moments yesterday. I woke up, ran some errands, went about my day as usual then sat down for dinner. I could feel myself getting weaker throughout the day but thought I could negotiate my way out of it. The conversation in my head went like this:
Me: You’re ok. Just finish dinner and you can lay down.
My Body: I’m not ok!!! I’m not ok!!! We are going to die right here in the middle of the fried rice. Abort! Abort! All hands on deck!
Me: Calm down body. You are going to be fine. You are just tired and we waited to long to eat. Let me finish dinner and we will go to bed early.
My Body: NO!!!! I’m melting! We are starting to have a problem breathing and we will probably have to go to the hospital or maybe we will faint again. Oh God, I think we are going to faint! I hate fainting! Wait, I think we just lost our legs and the arms are close behind. Save yourself! This shit is getting real right now! We are going down!!!!!!
If you haven’t noticed, my body is a bit of an alarmist. Although it has plenty of history to warrant PTSD, we have been though a lot over the past 7 years. It had been a long time since I’d had a complete system failure so I guess I was due. I had missed many red flags that it was coming.